A Pilgrimage to My Dream Homebirth
By Stephanie Andrews, September 2010
As our boat pushes away from Clinton, Washington the past years experiences wash over me. A year in full circle and a new baby in tow we return to our house just outside of Philadelphia. My husband had received a temporary job transfer to work on a project which extended from a six month to a one year endeavor and brought me from the east coast to ironically my home town in Everett. We rented a beautiful home in Langley, a cabin style wrapped with cow pastures set back in the woods. Such a peaceful and tranquil environment it provided for our family and to spend my pregnancy.
It’s when we started getting settled on the island when I sought out a midwife for my prenatal care and that’s when I found Cynthia Jaffe and the Greenback Birth Center. I was roughly 8 weeks pregnant in which we excitedly discovered just the day before we flew out. I had started seeing a midwife prior to our pregnancy knowing that we wanted more children. Our first was delivered in a hospital with a wonderful physician but desired our next birth to be in a more calm and natural environment after having a very eventful labor and delivery with our 2 year old. I was thrilled to have crossed fates with Cynthia. She is such a patient a nurturing woman, just what I was searching for and to my surprise found she specialized in homebirth. I always was curious about homebirth and desired it for myself since I was a young girl after reading stories about it. It seemed to me that that was the “way” to birth so natural and normal but seemed to be out of reach for me but here was our opportunity.
I had a wonderful pregnancy and felt extraordinary. Our original six month stay came and went and we were asked to stay another half year. I was ecstatic because we were now able to birth under Cynthia’s care and now have our dream birth.
As the winter months crept in and my due date approached we prepared our hearts and home for our new little addition. My mother came in to town a couple weeks prior for she had missed Elliott’s birth as he was 3 weeks early in Philadelphia. As we anxiously awaited the impending labor we ran last minute errands in preparation for the birth and she joined us at our 38 week appointment with Cynthia. Finding I was only 1.5 cm dilated and 90% effaced we hadn’t a clue when to expect our little one. The very next day, I felt like my head was floating in the clouds, just calm and out of it. I started having regular contractions but not painful. My mom and I took our dog and my little Elliott to the park where we walked through the woods. My senses were amplified. I enjoyed the sounds of the birds and the golden sun spotting through the leaves on my face and the feel of the bark on the trees as I floated along the path. Such a beautiful walk. My contractions subsided by late afternoon and disregarded any notion of labor.
That evening a sharp cramp woke me up and I easily rolled over and returned to slumber. Morning came as usual the next day as my husband departs to catch the ferry for work and I roll out to greet the day which happens to be my 31st birthday. As I go to the restroom I notice a pinkish red mucous. My plug? I wait for Elliott to wake up and listen to what my body is telling me. Small contractions start about ever 6 minutes and I know in my heart. I go into the loft and sit at the foot of my mom’s bed and touch her leg. In the dawn light I whisper, “We are having a baby today mom”. I worried before that I may panic and change my mind about the homebirth once it became real and labor hit but quite the contrary, I have never felt so at ease and relieved. Calm flooded over me and with a big happy sigh we casually get up and I force myself to eat some oatmeal to give me strength.
After breakfast with Elliott I take a shower. I phone my husband to return home just in case things picked up and I also missed him. He sends me a message from the boat “It’s a beautiful day to have a baby”. Indeed it was, crystal blue skies. Mom sets out snacks and drinks for our team as I start preparing my curry chicken soup which my dear friend Angie had made me once when I was ill and instantly became my favorite dish. I had planned to make this soup in early labor to distract me. My idea was once my soup was done I would be ready to push and we would all feast in celebration after the birth. Strangely it actually worked out that way! As I cut up the chicken I found myself squatting with each contraction as I hung from the counter.
My husband arrives and he and Elliott start to fill the tub. My contractions become every 2 minutes and I phone Cynthia to let her know. She shows up about a half hour later and her wonderful assistant, Crystal follows shortly after. Cynthia finds me at 4 cm dilated and in active labor. I am doing very well and feel terrific. As my contractions approached me I instinctively dropped to all fours and swayed, still holding a smile and mustering out some words then got up, brushed off me knees and resumed whatever it was that I was doing previously. I recall crying off and on but not in pain or fear but joy. I was so happy and honored to be giving birth again and so grateful to be given the opportunity to do it at home with people I loved surrounding me. I just simply loved everything at that moment.
The day progresses and Martin and I put El down for his nap as usual, stories and all only pausing briefly for my contractions. I realize this will be the last time I lay him down to sleep as an only child. Nearly right after he goes down, my body kicks into gear. I move to lying on a birth ball in front of our sliding glass doors in the kitchen that peers out to the wooded cow pasture. My husband starts a birthday cake for both me and our baby. He stops stirring and rubs my back as the contractions start to come sooner and stronger. I start to count the trees and their reaching shadows. I get lost in the joy of watching the cows saunter and frolic playfully down the hill. They gave me so much peace during my hard time in labor. I felt I had a bond with the cows. The girls were pregnant when we arrived, as was I, and felt a connection with them. I heard the calf be born one morning after a night of labor. It was as if they were helping me in my labor and official confirmed our bond that day.
The house is full of soft chatter and laughter and a wonderful aroma encompasses me. My contractions start to get even harder and longer starting me off to a low ohming groan to a higher pitched oooo. Cynthia appears at my side and asks permission to check my progression. Remaining hunched over the ball she checks and informs us we are nine cm. Wow already at about 2 in the afternoon. My friend Angie brings her lovely face into our presence and keeps me company along with my mom who sits beside me on the floor. Angie agreed to help out with Elliott. We had no expectations of him being present or not and we took comfort in knowing our friend was there to watch over his needs in such a whirlwind of a day. I decide to venture towards the birthing pool we set up in the front room next to the fireplace. I try to use the restroom first and as I stood back up from the toilet a contraction rocked me forcing me to holler out. My dear husband rushes in to my aid and assists me to the pool undressing me as we walk. The room smells of delicious incense and my favorite Devi prayer cd chants melodically through the room. Into the perfect temperature silky water my body instantly melts into goo sending a shiver of relief. A nice break for what lay ahead.
My little guy wakes from his nap to find mama in a pool. He reappears into the room with his rubber duckies and plops them in the water. We play for a bit until the contractions pick up again and my focus is requested in my contraction. Ang sweeps Elliott away, reading his worried face and then it was time for mom to get back to business. I start to test my bearing down and a pop followed by a warm flush between my legs indicates my water finally breaking. The pressure intensifies and the contractions start to roll over me. Peering out the window what do I find but my friends the cows. Calm again I hum to my music and am held in my husbands strong arms. I cry aging in happiness as we kiss in between the pushing, falling in love all over again. We laugh, so much joy. I savor the experience of our baby coming forth working with my body and listening to what nature is telling me to do.
At some point the pushing went from a forced push to an all body involuntary push. When the contraction would start to climb every muscle heaved to deliver my child from my womb. I could even feel it in my tongue like a gagging all the way to my curling toes and it felt so strangely good and satisfying. An hour later baby crowns and its intense. I expect baby to come right out but feels tight. The little head pops out as my husband wraps his arms around me from behind ready to catch our child. A sharp pain causes me to snap at him and say “don’t touch the baby” he said he wasn’t. As we look down the baby rotates its head from face down to face up, twisting its body still in me along with it, and blinks at us. Whoa! Next push baby enters this world. Martin pulls the little body gently out of the water and onto my chest. The baby hesitates to breath. We rub his back as tension fills the air. In my heart I know all is well but the worried eyes of my family begin to then worry me. Cynthia comes to the rescue and gives just a puff of oxygen which gets baby to send that first shrill cry and we all cheer.
We gaze at our new baby boy as the water turns red with blood. Crystal asks permission to give me an injection of pitocin in my leg for potential hemoraging then everyone helps me from the tub onto the bed set up in the room with baby still connected to me. We find that I only had a short umbilical cord and caused a placental tear when he was pulled to my chest. Also, we believe he potentially had one if not two hands by his face and turned before delivery making for the long pushing phase but all was well and perfect. Baby and I were both healthy. Elliott’s is happy to meet his new brother and we all snuggle on the bed as I deliver the placenta (which was planted nourishing a new Lilac on his 3 month birthday/Earth Day on the land) He’s measured and tended to as he lay with me. People start to clear as items begin to get tidied up. The girls assist me to my bed upstairs as I receive 2 stitches and tuck me into bed as Martin returns our baby to his mama. Cynthia and Crystal wait to make sure baby and I are stable and retire with hugs into the night at about 8 pm. Mom brings me a bowl of soup and dims the lights in my room. There has never been a more delicious or more deserved meal in the history of time. Then Martin comes in with my birthday cake. They quietly sing us ‘Happy Birthday’. Wren and I snuggle together all night (named 4 days later) as we both slept through the night, our first and only night so far.
The next morning was as any other Saturday I even made pancakes for all (which I got in trouble for by Cynthia for not resting but I was high from it all) except for now we were a family of four. It was all so surreal and I felt utter ecstasy. The birth day was as any other day. Elliott playing through the house, cooking and good company. The world kept flowing and I just happened to have a baby in the middle of all of it.
My labor was smooth and nearly painless; it was just all so beautiful and spiritual. I will never forget how perfect Crystal and Cynthia were. They were like wallflowers beautifully sitting nearby if I needed them and lending encouragement. They let me labor and birth on my with my husband as they quietly sat back and assessed the situation. It was almost like a free birth as my husband caught our newborn but had their wisdom and helped us when we needed them. I called them our guardian angels. They truly are angelic caring women who I will always be grateful for meeting at that exact moment in life. It couldn’t have been more perfect for what fate dealt us leading us ultimately to this little boy crawling in front of me right now. I will forever be grateful to them and will never forget my pilgrimage to my dream birth. Thank you, thank you, thank you
